We propose to you one of the most-recent researches about babies and their attachment to parents.
Newborns are almost totally dependent on their parents, physically and psychologically. As they grow up, they become less physically dependent, but the emotional and mental connection is still there. The very first months and years of a child’s life are crucial for their normal development.
Therefore, inadequate care and neglect can lead to long-term negative consequences for a child’s overall health.
If you are a parent for the first time it is quite understandable that you are in a dilemma about what is right and what is wrong since you face so many different opinions and attitudes. Being exposed to so much information, you might feel discouraged and confused and that’s OK.
So many people feel that way, so many parents share the same problems, have the same questions, and sometimes come to different conclusions based on their unique experience with their kids.
Every child is a special story and you know that. There is no ”one rule for all”, therefore don’t feel ashamed or guilty if you can’t do it all perfectly for your baby. People will tell you a lot of things, but you should be the one that will bring the decision about the way you will take care of your child, not your mother, not your partner, not your friends… If you give your best, that’s enough.
Is “crying out” the best method?
Probably you’ve heard these words – ‘Let the baby “cry it out” and it will be better.’ But, will the baby really calm down just by letting him/her cry alone? The reason why some people do this is that they believe that by attending to a baby’s cries you are spoiling him/her and it will eventually lead to a spoiled kid. Is caring about a baby’s needs equal to spoiling?
We all know that babies don’t cry without any reason. When a baby cries, it means that they have some unsatisfied need which you as a parent should be ready to satisfy.
What does the research show?
Wanting to help you, we want you to read about this pretty new research published by one of the largest rural and fastest-growing non-profit health care systems in the US – Sanford Health. They explained on their website how your baby’s sense of trust is best developed.
As you respond to your baby’s cries, you build a relationship based on trust. Your baby will feel safe and this feeling will reflect on his/her self-confidence to explore the environment and try new things without fear. Your baby will become a child that has no problem communicating with others and will feel free to act curiously.
If you are always there for him/her, offering your warm touch and eye-contact, your child will feel secure and your relationship will only get stronger.
As you can conclude, according to Sanford Health, responding to your baby’s cries will not make your baby a spoiled child, but it will create a relationship based on trust.
Yes, it is exhausting, it is difficult, but it is the only way in order for your baby to grow into a mentally healthy adult. Not responding to your baby’s needs expressed with crying out, you put your baby at risk of not developing the feeling of trust that is the base for all the rest of the relations that it will create during his/her life.
Therefore, it is crucial that you as a parent decide to be there for your child no matter what. When you need a break, just take it without any feelings of shame or guilt. You need to have someone by your side to support you and offer you help.
What is your opinion and/or experience about this?