Breaking the Cycle: 7 Reasons You Attract Narcissists

Have you noticed that you are often surrounded by people who display narcissistic characteristics? Do you find yourself in relationships with people who seem to be overly self-centered, entitled, manipulative, and lacking in empathy? If so, it may be time to take a look at why this pattern is occurring in your life. Here are 7 reasons why you may find yourself attracting narcissists.

Low Self-Esteem

People with low self-esteem tend to think that they don’t deserve better and are prone to settling for less than what they really want or need in a relationship. This can lead them to attract narcissists who will feed on their self-doubt and use it as an opportunity to have control over them.

Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

People who use unhealthy coping mechanisms such as drugs or alcohol may find themselves attracted to narcissists because of the impulsivity and recklessness associated with these behaviors. In addition, these individuals often lack the emotional resilience necessary to recognize the signs of a toxic relationship before it becomes too late.


Those suffering from codependency may also be more likely to attract narcissists because they look for relationships where they feel needed and valued by another person, even if that person is not necessarily good for them long term. This often leads them into co-dependent relationships with narcissists who manipulate them into feeling obligated or guilty for sticking around despite being treated poorly.

Poor Boundary Setting

Individuals who struggle with setting boundaries may not only attract people with narcissistic tendencies but also end up putting up with behaviors that would otherwise be unacceptable due to their inability or unwillingness to set healthy boundaries in place. If you’re unsure how to set healthy boundaries, getting some help from a therapist can be a great way to learn how to do so effectively so that you can start protecting yourself better going forward.

Growing up with narcissistic parents

Growing up with narcissistic parents can be a difficult experience. The extreme self-centeredness of many narcissists is damaging to both the children’s emotional well-being and their own development as individuals. Constant criticism and unrealistic expectations. Being exposed to a narcissistic environment as a child accustoms you to this style of control. You are more inclined to comprehend and pardon the narcissist because you have previously experienced it.

In your relationships, you take care of things

Unwittingly, people with low self-esteem become a target for those looking for someone to take care of them. Caretaking provides an easy entryway into the lives of their victims: on the surface, tending to the needs of your partner could be seen as noble and admirable. But narcissists use it to further manipulate, taking advantage of your good-heartedness and filling their own emotional cup. Once they have fully taken from you—emotionally or financially—they will move on as if nothing ever happened.

You try to please everyone

It can be difficult when kindness, peace, and quiet attempt to battle narcissists and aggression. You may unknowingly receive attention from people who dismiss others’ feelings in the pursuit of their own self-interest. Unfortunately, your habit of displaying politeness and avoiding discord may lead them to believe that you are an easy target for manipulation in interpersonal relationships. In essence, it’s because of your selflessness and willingness to compromise that these individuals see an opportunity to use you as a vessel for their own selfish needs.

It is important to remember that although there are certain traits or circumstances which make us more vulnerable to attracting narcissists, this does not mean that we are doomed forever! With greater awareness of why we might be attracted to such people in the first place, we can start making changes within ourselves which will help us break out of this pattern and create healthier relationships going forward. If you think you might benefit from talking about any of these issues further then please do reach out for professional help if necessary – your well-being is worth investing in!

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