Do you feel like toxic people are constantly being attracted to you? They seem to find their way to you now and then, and you are probably wondering why things got to be this way. These people see you as an easy target because the chances are, you possess some personality traits that they see as weaknesses. If you happen to recognize yourself in the following couple of qualities, you will also be able to address them so that they don’t make you vulnerable to toxic individuals anymore.
You are compassionate but lack strong boundaries
What makes you most vulnerable to toxic people is probably your empathetic, compassionate nature. However, the real issue is not your caring heart, but lack of boundaries. Empathetic people tend to place other people’s needs before their own. They feel responsible for the problems of other people, and they pour their heart out trying to help everyone in need. Toxic people take advantage of this trait by constantly asking for favors from you. While some of them do seek genuine help, many of them exploit this caring nature for their own benefit. You must learn to draw the line because you are not responsible for solving everyone’s problems.
You may have low self-esteem
If you feel timid and insecure, you may seek out approval for your lack of self-worth from anyone who comes into contact with you. This may also cause you to attract people with toxic qualities who prey on compassionate but shy people who need someone to validate and support them. In this case, you need to find that missing confidence in yourself because the toxic traits of these people can only hurt you and affect your personal life. You also need to be discerning when encountering new people because not everyone is deserving of your friendship.
You are a great listener
We all need to let out our feelings when life becomes overwhelming, but toxic people can have the habit of venting too much and dump all their concerns on you. They are self-absorbed and love to talk about themselves all the time. And if you are a person that knows how to listen, toxic people will be certainly drawn to you. However, if they drain you with their constant demand for attention, it would be best if you cut the cord with them.
You are very trusting
Toxic people can spot from far a person that is open and trusting with people. If you are someone who trusts that other people are generally honest and sincere, these people may take the chance to manipulate you into believing that they have good intentions. It’s important to know that there are people who hide their real faces. Toxic people may look trustworthy, but they don’t have the best intentions. They may be lurking in your family circle, among friends, and coworkers, and you need to be aware that not everyone around you is good-hearted as you are. It does not necessarily mean that they are bad people, however, they do have personality traits that make them difficult to deal with.
You always make time for them
Toxic people crave to be constantly the center of attention and others to admire them. Time with them means taking care of their needs, which will leave you feeling frustrated, even angry. If you are that good friend that always makes time for their friends, these people will try to get into your circle and take advantage of you. If you don’t learn how to say no, they will orchestrate the relationship with you to serve their own ends. You need to set strong boundaries, which means limiting your contact with them. Once they see you are not so generous with your time and energy as before and that you have your own priorities, they will start losing interest in you.
Although toxic people can make us miserable and depleted, they also make us learn a lot about ourselves. The experience with them educates us about the flaws people can have but also they make us reflect on our own weaknesses. Don’t regret the relationships you had with toxic people because they teach us the lessons that we need the most in our lives, especially how to stop people-pleasing and how to set strong boundaries.