Falling in love is one of the most exhilarating and fulfilling experiences life has to offer. The rush of emotions, the endless conversations, and the butterflies in your stomach are all signs that you have found someone special. However, sometimes we can become so enamored with a person that we ignore warning signs or patterns of behavior that may indicate a deeper problem.
Narcissism can be a major problem in a relationship because it often leads to a cycle of manipulation, control, and emotional abuse. Narcissistic partners are often focused on their own needs and desires, leaving little room for their partner’s feelings or well-being. They may engage in behaviors such as gaslighting, projection, love-bombing, and discard and hoovering, all of which can be incredibly damaging to the victim’s mental health and self-esteem.
Narcissistic partners may also struggle with empathy, making it difficult for them to understand or validate their partner’s emotions. This can lead to feelings of isolation, frustration, and low self-worth for the victim. Those in relationships with narcissistic partners need to seek help and support, whether through therapy, counseling, or other resources.
Here are The 6 Narcissistic Love Patterns To Look For
Love-bombing
Love-bombing is a common tactic used by narcissists to manipulate their partner into falling deeply in love with them. It involves showering their partner with affection, gifts, and compliments to quickly establish an intense emotional connection. Narcissists will often go out of their way to make their partner feel special and adored, using flattery and praise to build up their ego.
However, this behavior is often short-lived and can be followed by a sudden withdrawal of affection. Once the narcissist feels they have achieved their desired level of attachment from their partner, they may pull back and become emotionally distant. This can leave their partner confused and hurt, wondering what they did wrong.
Love-bombing can be an effective strategy for narcissists because it plays on their partner’s deeper emotions and desires. By making their partner feel loved and appreciated, the narcissist gains control over their emotions and keeps them hooked on the relationship.
However, it’s important to recognize that love-bombing is not a sustainable or healthy way to build a relationship. If you suspect your partner is engaging in love-bombing behavior, it’s essential to take a step back and evaluate the relationship carefully before committing further.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is used by narcissists to manipulate their partners into doubting their own perceptions of reality. It involves denying or distorting things that happened, accusing their partner of being too sensitive and using other tactics to undermine their partner’s sense of self. This can lead to confusion, self-doubt, and even mental health problems for the victim.
In a gaslighting scenario, the narcissist may manipulate their partner into believing they are misremembering events or exaggerating their emotions. They may twist the truth or present things in a way that makes their partner feel like they’re going crazy. Over time, their partner may begin to doubt their memory and question their own judgment.
Gaslighting can be an effective tool for narcissists because it puts them in a position of power and control. By making their partner doubt their perceptions, they can keep them off-balance and prevent them from questioning the narcissist’s behavior. It can also be incredibly damaging to the victim, leading to feelings of confusion, anxiety, and depression.
If you suspect your partner is gaslighting you, it’s important to seek help. A therapist or counselor can help you regain your sense of self and rebuild your confidence. Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship where you are respected and valued. Don’t let a gaslighting narcissist undermine your sense of reality and self-worth.
Projection
Projection is a common defense mechanism used by narcissists to avoid taking responsibility for their actions in a relationship. It involves displacing their own flaws and shortcomings onto their partner, which makes it difficult to address the actual issues at hand. For instance, if a narcissistic partner is unfaithful, they may accuse their partner of being unfaithful as well, deflecting attention from their own behavior.
The narcissist may also project their insecurities or negative qualities onto their partner, accusing them of being selfish or controlling. This can be very damaging to a relationship as it stops the couple from addressing the true problems and instead, the narcissist shifts the blame onto their partner, making it challenging for them to defend themselves or work on the relationship. If you suspect your partner is projecting onto you, it’s important to seek help.
A therapist or counselor can assist in identifying the underlying issues and developing strategies for communication and problem-solving. Remember that everyone deserves a relationship where both partners take responsibility for their actions and actively work together to create a healthy, joyful future.
Love triangles
Narcissists often create love triangles as a way to exert control over their partner. This involves flirting with other people or even having affairs in an effort to make their partner feel jealous and insecure. This behavior is incredibly damaging to a relationship, leading to trust issues and emotional pain.
Creating a love triangle allows the narcissist to manipulate their partner’s emotions and keep them under their control. By making their partner feel jealous and insecure, they can maintain power in the relationship while avoiding responsibility for their own actions.
However, this behavior can have long-lasting consequences for the victim. It can lead to feelings of betrayal, insecurity, and low self-esteem. It can also erode trust within the relationship and make it difficult for the couple to work through issues in a healthy way.
If you suspect your partner is engaging in this type of behavior, it’s important to address it head-on. Talk to your partner about how their actions are making you feel and set boundaries around what is and is not acceptable behavior in the relationship. If your partner is unwilling to change their behavior or take responsibility for their actions, it may be time to seek help from a therapist or counselor. Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel safe, respected, and valued.
Sabotage
Narcissists may sabotage their partner’s success or happiness as a way to maintain control over the relationship. This behavior can take many forms, including discouraging their partner from pursuing their goals, belittling their accomplishments, or actively working to undermine their partner’s efforts.
Sabotage allows the narcissist to maintain power and control over the relationship by keeping their partner reliant on them for validation and support. By minimizing their partner’s accomplishments or hindering their success, they can keep them feeling insecure and dependent.
However, this behavior can be incredibly damaging to the victim, leading to feelings of frustration, disappointment, and low self-esteem. It can also interfere with their ability to pursue their goals and lead a fulfilling life.
If you suspect your partner is sabotaging your success or happiness, it’s important to address the issue directly. Talk to your partner about how their behavior is making you feel and set clear boundaries around what is and is not acceptable in the relationship. If your partner is unwilling to change their behavior or take responsibility for their actions, it may be time to seek help from a therapist or counselor.
Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship where both partners support each other’s goals and aspirations. Don’t let a narcissistic partner hold you back from achieving your full potential.
Discard and Hoovering
Finally narcissists often engage in a pattern of discard and hoovering. This involves abruptly ending the relationship without explanation, only to come back later and try to rekindle the romance. This behavior is designed to keep their partner emotionally off-balance and reliant on them for validation.
The discard phase is when the narcissist abruptly ends the relationship, leaving their partner feeling confused and hurt. They may disappear for days or even weeks with no explanation, leaving their partner wondering what went wrong.
The hoovering phase occurs when the narcissist tries to rekindle the relationship, often after a period of time has passed. They may reach out to their former partner, showing affection and remorse for their previous behavior. This can be incredibly confusing for the victim, as they may still have feelings for the narcissist and want to believe that they have changed.
However, this behavior is designed to keep the victim emotionally off-balance and reliant on the narcissist for validation. By creating a cycle of discard and hoovering, the narcissist can maintain control over the relationship and keep their partner feeling insecure and dependent.
If you suspect your partner is engaging in this type of behavior, it’s important to recognize it for what it is and seek help. A therapist or counselor can help you develop strategies for setting boundaries and breaking free from the cycle of abuse. Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship where you are valued and respected, and you don’t have to tolerate manipulative behavior from a narcissistic partner.
