We are all guilty of letting our past shape our present, which can lead to unhealthy relationships. On a subconscious level, we may be drawn to toxic people who reflect our unresolved traumas, insecurities and pain. These relationships can act as gateways to understanding ourselves on a deeper level and learning how to heal inner wounds that are preventing us from forming meaningful connections. Through exploring the dark sides of who we are and recognizing the patterns that have been created for protection yet limit us, we can work towards loving ourselves more deeply.
Check out these 6 behaviors that indicate you are attracting toxic people
Low Self-Esteem
People with low self-esteem can often feel as though they have few choices in life, and so may be more inclined to stay in toxic relationships, no matter how much harm they are causing. Those without strong self-confidence may feel like they have nobody else to turn to, leading them to become trapped with an emotionally manipulative partner. Low confidence can make it difficult for someone to recognize this kind of relationship for what it is and take steps to leave, instead allowing themselves to be taken advantage of by their toxic partner.
When people lack self-esteem they will often accept behavior that is unacceptable or unhealthy because they are desperate for any type of validation or attention. No matter how much a person loves or desires a toxic relationship, the only way out is by learning how to build self-esteem and trust one’s own instincts, rather than looking outside themselves for acceptance. Doing this will enable someone to break free from destructive relationships and open up possibilities for healthier connections elsewhere.
Insecurity
People who lack confidence and self-belief can often be easy targets for those wishing to control or manipulate them. When someone is insecure, their low self-esteem can make them vulnerable, as they are more likely to accept poor treatment or abuse in order to gain any kind of validation. This may draw in toxic people who see the opportunity to take advantage of their partner’s trust and get away with things they otherwise would not be able to do if they were confident in themselves.
Insecurity can also lead people to compromise their own core values, needs and beliefs in an attempt to please their partner – even if that means sacrificing their own health, happiness and well being. It is therefore all too important for those feeling unsure about themselves, to work at building self-confidence and learn how to recognize when a relationship has become toxic; only then will it be possible for them to break out of such situations without harming themselves further.
Fear of rejection
People who struggle with strong fears of rejection can often feel so desperate for any kind of connection or acceptance that they can be more likely to enter into toxic relationships. This fear can lead someone to settle for a partner who mistreats them, instead of walking away and risking being alone. Additionally, those with a fear of rejection may also stay in an unhealthy relationship if they think that their partner’s opinion of them matters more than anyone else’s, this high level of attachment and dependency makes it very difficult to leave, despite the toxicity.
It is therefore essential for anyone struggling with these kinds of worries to work on building their self-worth and learn how to trust themselves rather than relying on external validation all the time. Doing this will allow them to break free from destructive relationships and find healthier connections elsewhere.
Aversion to Conflict
People who are generally conflict averse and hate confrontation can often find themselves in a difficult situation when it comes to ending a toxic relationship. Instead of standing up for themselves and creating the necessary boundaries, they may be more likely to just stay put and try to ignore any issues that arise. This complacency allows the other person to continue their destructive behavior, leading to more pain and suffering than necessary.
It is important for those struggling with this issue to reach out for help if they are feeling overwhelmed or scared; sometimes an external perspective can be really helpful in allowing someone to make sense of what is happening and build up the courage they need in order to leave. It also allows people to get the assurance that they will survive without this negative connection – something which can seem impossible at times.
Need for Approval
People with an excessive need for approval can often find themselves trapped in toxic relationships because they are seeking validation from their partner. This desperate hunger for acceptance can make it difficult to walk away and take a stand against the other person’s bad behavior, as it feels like doing so would be rejecting that unconditional love. This can also mean that someone may stay in situations longer than necessary, ignoring all signs of abuse out of fear that any attempt at leaving may have serious consequences.
It is therefore important for those with this issue to talk through their feelings with a trusted friend or family member, and focus on building up their own self-esteem rather than relying on external validation all the time. Doing this will allow them to recognize when they are being mistreated, and give them the strength to finally walk away.
Unresolved trauma
Unresolved traumas can often lead someone to seek out toxic relationships as an escape from their own pain. Rather than working through their emotions and finding healthier coping mechanisms, they may look to fill the void inside them with a toxic partner. This diversion may provide temporary relief, but it won’t heal the trauma or help them gain any real closure.
What usually happens instead is that person will end up in another cycle of suffering, leaving them unable to find true happiness and fulfillment without addressing the source of their hurt first. It is therefore important for those struggling with this issue to focus on dealing with their past traumas, rather than seeking comfort elsewhere; only then can they begin to rebuild themselves and start a new
Final thought
It is essential for any relationship to have a balanced dynamic, and if this cannot be achieved then it may be time to move on. Toxic relationships can drag us down without us even realizing, so it is vital that we take action and strive to rebuild ourselves if these issues cannot be solved. Only when we come from a place of healing and restoration can we develop positive, meaningful connections with others and have relationships built on mutual respect.
