Narcissism is a personality trait characterized by an excessive sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for others, and a constant need for admiration and attention. People with narcissistic tendencies often believe they are superior to others and seek to dominate or control those around them. They may exhibit grandiose behaviors, such as bragging about their accomplishments or belittling others, and have an exaggerated sense of entitlement.
Narcissism can manifest in different ways and to varying degrees. In some cases, it may be part of a diagnosable personality disorder, such as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). However, many people exhibit narcissistic traits without meeting the criteria for a clinical diagnosis.
What is Covert Narcissist
A covert narcissist, also known as a vulnerable or introverted narcissist, is someone who displays more subtle signs of narcissism. Unlike overt or grandiose narcissists, who seek attention and admiration through overt means, covert narcissists may appear humble, self-effacing, or even submissive. They may present themselves as victims or underdogs, while secretly harboring a deep need for attention and validation.
Covert narcissists may use passive-aggressive tactics to manipulate others and maintain their sense of superiority. For example, they may guilt-trip others into doing what they want or use pity to get sympathy and attention. They may also engage in gaslighting, where they twist the truth or deny reality to make others doubt their own perceptions.
One of the defining characteristics of covert narcissists is their inability to handle criticism or accept responsibility for their mistakes. They may become defensive or lash out when confronted with negative feedback, or they may blame others or external circumstances for their problems. This can make it difficult to have a healthy relationship with a covert narcissist, as they will often avoid taking responsibility for their actions and refuse to make changes to their behavior.
Why narcissists tend to lie and cheat
Narcissists tend to lie and cheat for a variety of reasons related to their personality traits and behaviors. Here are a few possible explanations:
Need for control: Narcissists have an intense need to be in control of their surroundings and the people around them. They may lie and cheat as a way to manipulate others and maintain their sense of control over a situation or relationship.
Lack of empathy: Narcissists frequently exhibit a lack of empathy, making it challenging for them to understand or care about how their actions can affect others. This trait can enable them to lie or cheat without feeling guilty or having any remorse about their behaviors.
A desire for attention: Narcissists thrive on attention and validation from others. They may lie or cheat as a way to get attention, admiration, or to feel special.
Grandiose self-image: Narcissists often have an exaggerated sense of self-importance and believe they are superior to others. They may lie or cheat to protect this self-image and avoid being seen as flawed or imperfect.
Entitlement: Narcissists may feel entitled to whatever they want, including lying or cheating, without considering the consequences for others. They may also rationalize their behavior by believing they deserve to do what they want, regardless of who it hurts.
It’s important to note that not all narcissists will lie or cheat, and not all people who lie or cheat are narcissists. However, if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s important to be aware of these behaviors and how they can impact your well-being.
What are the signs of cheating covert narcissist
One of the most prevalent signs of a cheating covert narcissist is secrecy. Covert narcissists tend to keep secrets from their partners and may become defensive or evasive when asked about their whereabouts or activities. They might create excuses for their absences, such as working late or spending time with friends, but these excuses don’t add up or make sense. Additionally, they may have hidden social media accounts or email addresses that they use to communicate with potential partners. These secret accounts are often used to hide their indiscretions from their current partner.
Another sign of a covert narcissist who is cheating is flirtatious behavior. Covert narcissists may flirt with others, even in front of their partners. This behavior serves to boost their ego or test the waters with potential partners. They may seek attention and validation from others, which is why they engage in this kind of behavior. They may see it as harmless flirting, but it can be a slippery slope that leads to infidelity.
Covert narcissists often struggle with boundaries, especially when it comes to members of the opposite sex. They might hang out alone with colleagues or friends, overshare personal information with these individuals, or engage in inappropriate conversations. This lack of boundaries can make it easier for them to cheat on their partners, as they may not see anything wrong with crossing lines that others would consider cheating.
Gaslighting is another tactic that covert narcissists may use to cover up their cheating behavior. They may deny that they are cheating, blame their partner for being paranoid or jealous, or make their partner feel like they are crazy for even entertaining the idea. Their manipulation skills, combined with their lack of empathy, make it easy for them to manipulate their partners into believing that they are innocent.
Finally, if your partner is a covert narcissist who is cheating, you may notice sudden changes in their behavior or routine. They might spend more time away from home, become more secretive about their phone or computer usage, or be less affectionate towards you. These changes are often a result of the guilt and shame that they feel about their behavior, but they may try to explain it away as stress from work or other issues. It’s important to pay attention to these signs and trust your instincts if you suspect that your partner is cheating on you.
Should you leave a cheating and lying covert narcissist?
it is important to note that being in a relationship with a cheating and lying covert narcissist can be emotionally damaging and harmful to one’s well-being. Narcissists often struggle with empathy, which means they may not fully understand or care about how their actions impact others. Additionally, covert narcissists are skilled at manipulation and gaslighting, which can leave their partners feeling confused and doubting their own perceptions.
If you are in a relationship with a cheating and lying covert narcissist, it may be worth considering seeking support from a therapist or counselor to help you process your emotions and make decisions about your future. It’s important to prioritize your well-being and safety and to set boundaries that protect you from further harm. Ultimately, the decision to leave a relationship is a personal one that only you can make based on your individual circumstances and needs.