There are more than 3 million reported cases of domestic violence per year. Both men and women experience emotional and verbal violence, but most of the cases go unnoticed.
Emotional abuse is hard to notice
Emotional abuse may be hard to notice because abusers blame their victims. If you have been emotionally abused in your previous relationships, it may be hard for you to notice the abuse. As time goes by, you will feel guilty and have doubts about yourself.
The personality of the abuser
Abusers are usually dominant, impatient, self-centered, unforgiving, unreasonable, jealous, insensitive, and suspicious. Moreover, they often change their mood from loving and romantic to angry and violent.
Are you being emotionally abused?
If the abuser notices that you will not leave them, the emotional abuse increases. Being abused can cause chronic pain, anxiety, depression, inhibited sexual desire, stress, and other physical issues.
If you love and respect yourself, you will not allow other people to abuse you. Pleasers, caretakers, and martyrs usually avoid confrontations and blame themselves for the abuse. Therefore, if you want to prevent emotional abuse, you have to understand the reason for your abuse, to forgive yourself, and to stimulate your self-confidence.
What does emotional abuse represent?
Unlike physical abuse, emotional abuse represents a behavior or speech which is manipulative, controlling, and derogating. People, who control what do you think, or where do you go, are abusers. Invading and spying on a person is also abusive because it ruins your personal boundaries.
Verbal abuse is a form of emotional abuse, which often goes unnoticed. Direct verbal abuse, such as lying, threatening, blaming, or ordering, can be easily noticed.
Here are some types of verbal abuse that are hard to recognize.
The abuser will oppose everything you say and will challenge your opinions and perceptions.
To prevent communication, the abuser will try to change the topic of conversation or accuse you.
3. Discounting and belittling
The abuser will try to trivialize your feelings and experiences and show you that your opinion is not important.
4. Undermining and interrupting
The abuser always tries to undermine your confidence and self-esteem by speaking on your behalf without your permission.
The abuser can deny that you made an agreement or a promise. Also, the abuser will declare love and affection to you, so that you can start doubting your perceptions and memory.
How to confront an abuser?
To be able to confront abuse, you will need to understand that the abuser is controlling and manipulating you. The best way to confront abuse is to use humor or forceful statements. If you set boundaries, the abuser will realize that they cannot control and manipulate you. In this way, you will rebuild your confidence and self-esteem.
When you regain your confidence and self-esteem, you will not allow anyone to abuse you. Confronting an abuser is challenging. You may need the support of a therapist or counselor to be able to stand up to abuse.